couple_love_sunset_hugs_39638_2560x1600There are four steps to building healthier relationships.

  • Self-realization
  • Self-love
  • Finding a common interest
  • Getting help from a powerful source

It is normal to want a good circle of friends, warm family members, and loving relationships in life. You are not meant to go through your journey by yourself. Experiences happen to share with those around you and theirs with you. Having a support system in life is the key to staying healthy, mentally and physically.

Take a look at what is happening to your community. You are bombarded with social media, infinite ways to connect with others, meet potential partners online, and expose your life openly for others to get to know you. The list is endless, but one key element is missing. Do you know who you are? You let others see your photos, activities, and essentially your whole life. But have you reflected upon your true intent of showing your “image” to others? What you like, what you don’t like, what you look for in others, what activities nourish you, what circle you want to be part of?

In order to attract the right people, you need to start with your own self-realization. You have been formed and shaped by your upbringing from the beginning. You have followed a culture and adopted a belief system that was taught to you. That sense of who you are came with the Ego that controls your behaviors. Now it’s time to reveal the real you.

An aspect of adolescence and the college era is figuring life out, while making some mistakes along the way. You get a chance to meet new people, fall in love, fall out of love, become part of a club or a group, educate yourself not only with academic curriculum, but social experiences. Adulthood comes around the corner before you realize, now it is time to find the right career, a more stable place to live, a reliable vehicle, and handle familial and financial issues.

As you are evolving, changing your old ways to new to fit your adult life, everything feels a bit more serious. Challenges await you in the days ahead to teach you lessons that help you realize how strong you can be. Rejections, disappointments, hard work, patience, acceptance, grief, joy, and success all come together. They teach you to stand firm and tall,  shifting your view to stay calm and collected,

Evolving and self- realizing is part of life and it will continue to the end. Learning to be flexible and go with the flow with acceptance will make the journey more tolerable. By focusing on your courage, patience, and resilience, you will surprise yourself at the end of any hardship.

Paying attention in order to know what you want in life, who do you want as a partner or friend is an act of Love towards yourself. You are reciting your values to yourself in order to achieve your desire in life. By being attentive to your needs, you are accepting your flaws, instead of criticizing your shortcomes. You start feeling more blessed with qualities that you were given, rather than thinking you were cheated out of something.

Finding the right circle with like-minded people is another way to build healthier relationships. When you share a common interest with others, the connection becomes easier. You find the time that you are spending sharing the experience more valuable and productive. If you are a spiritual person, you can join a group of those with the same faith. If you are an artist, show up at different venues when exhibitions are happening. Find yourself comfortable in a circle, then try to attract another energy to complete yours.

The last step is to have the right Attitude. The Attitude that comes with four simple steps of aligning yourself with the Universe. You can get help with the most powerful force in your life, “The Universe”.

Align yourself by being conscious of your actions. What you do to yourself and others have an impact on what type of energy you are attracting. If you help others with a pure heart and no expectation for anything in return, you will always be helped when you need it. How you react to events and people daily can affect your mental and physical health. Reacting to every little thing in your life is a sign of stress and you need to take some time off to reset your mind. Choose your words carefully, don’t gossip, don’t judge others, be more motivational and positive with others. These newfound habits will reflect in the way you treat yourself.

With healthier inner chatter you become stronger and send positive vibrations. This beaming energy around you will repel the wrong person that does not match your values. You are guarding yourself with the right Attitude to shield you from bad energy. You will find yourself being very selective and more intuitive of who you want to hang out with. This will help you to know yourself better, choose the right environment, stay aligned with the Universe, and love yourself first and foremost.

Always remember, there is no such a thing as a “mistake”, look at it as a lesson learned.


Shab Kamal

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July 2024